What our Wedding Was Like

DA, DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA) [M] Cynthia41088 asks, [S] “I’m super curious of what your wedding was like. Were there any memorable events that made you smile or laugh? Also, if you guys have any photos, can you show them to us please? Thanks!” (Piano) [M] Ooooo, personal question. [S] Ooooo, we can’t cause any controversy by talking about our
actual past this time. [M] Or can we? (Typewriter clicking) [Sp] Mom, it’s the Spudgy, why wasn’t I invited to your wedding? [S] Oh, my god, we’re gonna talk about our wedding. (Wedding music) This is gonna so be great, and I’m sure
that this will be very informative about like, Korea. [M] Hey, it’s just a personal question, sometimes Nastys want to hear personal things. Nasty, personal things. Actually, we had a really randomly, exciting wedding [S] with some very odd suprises. [M] Yeah. You guys are going to be very jelly, jelly when you hear our exciting
wedding story. (Jelly is an abbreviated and internet way of saying jealous.) So, for those of you who want to know our engagement story, we actually already did a TL;DR on that. [S] And if you want to know our dating story,
we did a TL;DR on that as well. [M] Soon we’re gonna be like, (in an old voice) my circumcision story. (laughs) So, now on to the wedding. [S] Forward ho! [M] So, we had a pretty small wedding. We
were broke-ass broke students. [S] Yes, we were. [M] Um, we were getting married at the end of university,
we had tons of student loans just piling up. [S] Five years of them. Year 1, year 2, year 3, year 4,
year 5, let’s add them all up. You don’t need a lot of money to have a really fancy wedding. [M] No, people think that the point of getting married is the wedding, but actually, the point of it is being… [Both] married. [M] So, we invited around 30 people to our wedding, and with their guests it came out to about 60 something, so all together there were 70 of us. We decided to have the event at the Gallery Grill, it’s actually like a little bistro inside of our university. We went to the University of Toronto, and it only holds a certain amount of people. That’s a surefire way to keep your family from
inviting their extended family’s family’s family’s families. [S] It’s absolutely brilliant because oh, Mom, I’m sorry. You can’t invite… that one friend… that really annoys me. Sorry, Mom, not enough room. [M] And besides Simon’s scammy try to try to
avoid people he doesn’t want to invite, we picked it because it has really good food. [S] Oh, yes. I’d much rather feed a few people really really well, than feed a whole bunch of people crappily. [M] Yes. So when it came to other things like, flower arrangements and stuff like that, we didn’t do any of that. [S] No,we also did have some special decorations. [M] Like what? [S] You don’t remember this but I’m the sentimental one in this relationship. [M] Oh, no, I do, I do remember
it. [S] Ah, it’s too late now. [M] And, ok let me take it back. I’m gonna
say it first. [S] No, it’s too late now! [M] I’m gonna say it first! Our theme was poetry.
[S] Forget it, uhhhh. [M] I said it first! [S] We had balloons on every single table, and every table was themed according to a different poet because we met in Romantic Era poetry class. So, one was like the Wordsworth table, one was the one was the Keats table, one was the Shakespeare table. one was the [M] So when you arrived, you checked the guestbook, which I made out of like an old book from
the library, like a really ancient, old one, and you would say like, (in an old voice) you’re at the Woodsworth table, and there would be a balloon floating on invisible string, so it would
just look like it was magically floating your placecard above the table. It was… very romantic. Yeah, so I splurged on balloons, alright? Clear… [S] Seven of them. [M] There were like seven of them. [S] ‘Cause we ballin’, son. (Martina laughs) Actually there was one funny, embarrassing story. [M] Which one? [S] The flower story. [M] I don’t want to tell the flower story, it’s so embarrassing. [S] It’s a good one. [M] I don’t want to tell it. [S] Well, then I’ll tell it. [M] Nooo, you’ll screw it up. [S] I’m just gonna get to the
punch line and talk about how cheap you are. [M] Noooooo. Ok, ok, ok. I have peonies that bloom in my garden, those like huge, puffy flowers, and I really wanted them for my bouquet. And so I asked the florist if they could
do me a like a peony bouquet, but… [S] I’ll do you like a peony bouquet. Oh yeah!
[M] Make a bow-yeah. [M] But somehow, the florist managed to screw up
my only request for a peony bouquet. The night before, I was out with my goddaughter Lisa: Lisa, what’s up? Love you, miss you. Lisa and I went for Subway sandwiches, what every girl does… before her wedding, and as I was enjoying subway sandsiches with Lisa, I looked out the window, and I saw peonies
in full bloom at the Subway sandwich garden. I was like, Subway sandwich had all of these
peonies, and I’m sure they won’t miss them. So later on that night, when Subway sandwich would close, I went back
and I cut some of the peonies down. [A Voice] What???? [S] She came back, in the middle of the night,
son, and she jacked them peonies! (Martina laughs) [M] I didn’t cut down their whole garden, it’s just that… [S] Out of like twenty peonies, you probably left like three of them. [M] I only took like six of them. [M] My prized peonies. [S] For the next few weeks, after our
wedding, there were like wanted posters of Martina, like arrrrr, with her face in peonies there. (Martina laughs) [M] Ahem, moving on from the wanted posters. So, let’s skip over the actual wedding, we got married at the church. We arrive at the wedding hall, I guess the bistro,
and everyone had to take a polaroid picture, so rather then a sign in book, we just did polaroids because let’s sit down and read our wedding signatures, like who
does that? [S] Who is this illegible friend of mine? We had amazing appetizers, big pitchers of lemonade: we had spiked lemonade. (Defensive, whiny voice) I was old enough to drink, what? So, we had the dancing and the dessert in a separate room all together. [S] We didn’t actually have a wedding cake because we’ve
never actually had a wedding cake that tasted good. So, we decided to have a cupcake tower instead,
and we would be the top cupcake, and they were wonderful cupcakes. [M] We got like, gummy bears, gummy worms… [S]
Jelly beans, fuzzy peaches… [M] Big feet. [S] We got one of those… apple, greeny things with the
hole in the middle. [M] Green apples. Apple rings. [M] We filled up huge jars from IKEA and we like…
[S] We gave everybody a whole bunch of paper bags with little scoopies, so you could go and
scoop like your own serving of candy. [M] Yeah. So, there was a huge candy spread.
There was also like chocolate fondue. [S] Ungh. [M] We did the cupcakes, we did like tiramisu, and everything
was tiny sized, so everyone could eat little things. Then we danced for a very long time. Our friend
hired their friend who was a DJ. [S] Yep. [M] And we had our own playlist, so the music was awesome. [S] Actually, you forgot something very important: our opening dance for the wedding. [M] Ohhhh, right. [S] We danced to Ben Folds’ “The Luckiest” because that’s a song that we- [M] Our wedding song. [S]
That was very special to us. [M] Um-hum. [S] But, we had it set up so that randomly in the middle of
the song it would scratch and be like, oh gosh! [M] Oh, no! [S] What happened? [M] The song is broken,
my best special wedding moment is ruined. [S] And then it ended up being Michael Jackson’s “Rock
With You”, which we had to synchronize dance to. (Both sing) I’m gonna rock with you, all night. Rock you into the sunlight! [M] Anyways, I look back regretfully on that moment,
now that we know so much Kpop because… [S] I could’ve naughty naughtied that dance floor and blown
your mind. [M] We could’ve done “Roly Poly”, we could’ve done the “Lucifer”. It would have been a mix- can
you imagine? [S] Yes. [M] It would have been amazing. [S] Yes. I imagine all of us doing Lucifer at the wedding. [M] Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. [S]
That’s the only part of Lucifer I can do, the pet the giraffe. That’s it. [M] So, here’s the best part though, somone actually tripped on a
cable which caused the DJ’s music to just abruptly cut. We were exhausted, so we were like, oh no! The music stopped working, We were exhausted, so we were like, oh no! The music stopped working, and it’s like 12:30 at night. [S] What are we going to do? [M] We should just stop, guys. Oh, I’m so disappointed. We wanted to move on and get back to
our hotel, oooh, I sounded like I said, [Both] we just wanted to get it on! [S] Ungh! [M] But, truthfully, we were just really exhausted. We had been up since like…well, I had been
up since like six in the morning, getting all dolled up with my fake hair extensions. (Southern accent) (Cha-ching sound) [M] I had fake hair extensions. [S] So, we called it a night and headed over to our hotel, which was the Gladstone Hotel in Toronto. Now, interesting backstory about the Gladstone Hotel, they
actually called us a couple weeks beforehand, and they’re like, hey, we want to change your reservations for another
night because we have an event happening (happy flute music). And we’re like, “Well we can’t, that’s our wedding
night. All of the hotels are already booked: we have to stay with this one,” and they’re like, “Oh, but it might be a little bit loud so I hope
you are not disturbed because there is going to be a party.” And I’m like, there’s going to be a party that
night, what are we going to do? (Martina says something incoherent) They’re trying to get rid of us. (end of whispers) And I’m like, “You know… that’s pretty bad.” [M] I’m so disappointed. [S] “I’m really quite disappointed in this, I
was really looking for, you know, a really nice night.” (Whispering) [S] This is going to be awesome. [M] Oh yeah! [S] “Maybe, if you could leave a couple bottles of champange
in the room, then we’ll be okay with that.” And they’re like, “Oh yeah, sure, no problem.” And I’m like, “Ok fine, I guess we’ll do that. Ok, see you then.” [S] Like, we’re gonna be a party, this
is going to be great!
[M] Yeah! Yeahhh! [S] Turns out that the party they were having that
night was the MuchMusic video awards afterparty, with lots of celebrities and musicians being there and all. [M] So, we pulled up at the event. There
were photographers everywhere and cameras (Camera clicks). [S] A big crowd of people outside. [M] People screaming
and there was a red carpet and security everywhere, and we both got out, and we’re all like, what
the heck is going on? And security is like- [S] There is this big, beefy guy. [M] Huge, beefy guy.
[S] Probably like two times my size, he’s all like, “You’re not allowed in here. This is the MuchMusic party.” [M] And then he looked down at us and then he was like this: [S] “Oh my god, you guys are the wedding
couple! Come on in, come on in!” [S] He picked up everything and he’s like, “Oh
my god. Let me escort you guys in.” [M] “You look beautiful!” and so, [M] So, they put little tags on our wrists, and all
the staff members kept calling us “The Wedding Couple”, so, we were literally the only people staying at the hotel. So, we went to our hotel room, we dropped off our stuff, I was still wearing my wedding dress, Simon was still wearing
his suit, and we left to explore the hotel. [S] So when Martina said that every single room was gutted out, it was like every room was its own franchise room. So, there was like a Puma room, in
which you would walk in there, they would ask you your shoe, and they give you Puma shoes that size. [M] They just like, gave it to you. [S] They’re
like, here you go, here is some free stuff. There was a Red Bull room, and they gave you a whole
bunch of red bull, and there was a Calvin Klein room, where they gave you a whole bunch of colonge. (No underwear, why?) [M] There were deejays playing, so every floor
everyone’s drunk, and they’re all like, “Naahhh, is that a costume?” I’m like, “No we just got married.” They’re like “Wooooo!” [S] “Oh, my god! You got married, that’s so great!” [M] And there were Indie bands, that were
just like hanging out on our floor. [S] Broken Social Scene was spinning tracks, deejaying, and like
we saw Chris Bosh, and it was really weird. [M] We couldn’t believe it. We thought that we were
tired, but after a couple Red Bulls… (laughs) [S] We were great! [M] Having eaten at our wedding and danced at our wedding,
we continued to dance and eat until 4 A.M., right? [S] That’s pretty awesome. [M] Yeah, so we went back to our hotel
room at 4 A.M. and then, something funny happened, as well. [S] I made the mistake of, right when we were about to
go into our room and close the door behind us, I put the “Do not disturb” sign on
the door, and everybody outside was like, “Woooo. Alright! Yeah! Wedding Couple! Simon!” [S] (clears throat) Awkward. [M] It was good times. [S] Otherwise, that’s it for this week’s very long TL;DR. If you have a question you want us to answer for next week’s TL;DR, leave your question in the comments section below. [M] Yes, and we will try to do
a more Korea-related question for next week, since this was a kind of personal one. [S] Yes. [M] Check out the questions that are asked and thumb
up any one that you find interesting, and if it comes to our attention, perhaps we will choose it. And don’t forget to subscribe for more TL;DRs, where we give
away a whole bunch of swag like free shoes, for all of our subscribers. [M] That’s not true. (Simon whispers) Why are you trying to ruin us? (Martina whispers) Oh, um, what kind of shoes? [S] Techno shoes. [M] Techno shoes? (Normal voice) [M] Techno shoes. (Simon clears throat) We gonna give away techno shoes. [S] Lots of them. [M] Because everyone wants them. [S] What’s your shoe size? Let us know. [M] Let us know
in the comment section below, and we won’t check it out. [M] Run, Simon, you fool. (Gong and sexy “Intoxication” music) Thanks for watching EYK’s TL;DR!


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