Wedding Roar – BYU Divine Comedy


I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath. Even chose my second favorite dress. So many folks to please. Curse of the bride to be. I guess that I forgot I had a choice, but now my wedding cake is made of soy and I’m not happy. No, I’m not happy. This wedding line, it really sucks. Why’s my brother in a sky blu tux? If this keeps up I might pass out. If my aunt says something, Imma punch her mouth. I hate these kids, I hate these flowers, I haven’t eaten in fifteen hours. What a daring cut on you, darling. Step up, say hi to the bride that’s inside. Light these tablecloths on fire. Gonna eat like a tiger. This wedding will hear me roar! In charge now like a gorilla. Oh, I’ll be bridezilla. This wedding will hear me roar! In the background you can see my bride. She’s a little bit stressed, hey, so am I. Her father hates me. He told me so irately. My world’s a mess of tulle and hair. I get suggestive eyebrows everywhere and now I own eight crock pots. That’s a lot of crock pots. My groomsmen’s jokes destroyed my truck. My Uncle Larry had to show up drunk. The ex-boyfriend came to crash the scene. I’m a little insecure because he’s bigger than me. Brittni looks at me with embarrassed eyes. As if the silence is a surprise. Well, that’s his wife. Looks like he’s stuck with her for life. Looks like I’m punchin’ that guy. That’s my bride. These hors d’oeuvres are gonna fly. We’re like Bonnie and Clyde now. This wedding will hear us roar! United! Fight into the night. Never loved you more than right now. This wedding will hear us roar!

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