Should I Share How Much Money I Make?


I believe it’s not discussed enough
almost. I feel like people are so private with their income and private about what
they spend money on and how much they have and how much they don’t have. Hey everybody. This is Stephanie O’Connell from Stephanie O’Connell.com and I have
a great group of women with me here today talking about money and why we
make certain decisions and why sometimes we don’t and where we disagree. I want to talk about pay transparency and what are your thoughts on pay transparency,
sharing income, sharing your personal income. I think
pay transparency is super important if you’re in the place to do that, if it
doesn’t risk you know you losing potential of getting called in to HR or you
know your job. But also at the same time I think it’s like a double-edged sword
because people like to compare. We naturally do that like. It’s kind of like
almost an embarrassing topic to people. To think oh I don’t make as much as you or I make more than you. People naturally compare themselves so the double-edged
sword is you know I think it’s great to be transparent but if you are
transparent and you are well below or way above that could really change the
dynamic of a relationship. A lot of my friends that are outside of school are
making like so much money and I’m like how? And then some of my other friends
are making not enough so it’s like I want to know I want to know how
people balance their lives around this money. Like I want to know how people are paying their rent while going on vacation. I want to know how everyone
pays for everything. I think that Carmen made a really good point about making
sure that you’re cognizant of any rules that your employer may have. And if
you’re an independent contractor, very often, you may be asked to sign an NDA
regarding your compensation so you do have to be very careful not to violate
that. not to say there aren’t whispers, and that you can’t share it with a few
of your girlfriends or peers in the industry that you trust. but it’s
important especially we have this proliferation of things like Facebook
groups where there’s the idea that it’s confidential, but it’s not always. I know
like what everybody in our company makes no that’s not true. I know what the
people are level make, not necessarily above. But I don’t it’s probably not a good
thing but I’m like pretty comfortable asking people what their salaries are. I think a tremendous resource is your
HR department on the other side as well. Because you can go to HR departments in
many large companies and say what is the salary band for my job title. And you can
use that information to make your case to get a raise. Or you can know I’m at
the top of the band for my job title. I better step it up and ask not for a
raise because that’s not gonna go far, I need to get a title change. It’s something that I don’t think has to be talked about a lot but like if people
were to talk about it then it would it would feel more like you know we’re all
in it together. I’m not gonna pretend that you know we were like you know working minimum wage jobs and we saved two hundred thousand dollars. Like that’s
not fair to like the people who are now like looking at my story and saying can
I do that? Why can’t I do that? If I’m speaking to like a lawyer who just came
out of Law School and she’s like oh my god I’m making 80 grand like it’s so low.
I’m just like my starting year and I’m just like that’s nice, that’s double what I’m making. I’ll be honest like for me sometimes it felt a little there was some shame around like how
much I made. Maybe they think I should be doing more or spending money here or
helping more people. Like I felt like people would then figure that they could
tell me what to do with my money. I’m very pro transparency, and that’s great
for my professional life. But I think in my personal life there’s now this
judgement of well you’re making all this money, you can afford this. You know why
why do you not want to have an expensive wedding? What’s wrong with you? And now it’s a judgement of my value system because I do have the money. And so sometimes it feels like you feel
discounted because you didn’t struggle hard. You earn a lot of money, that means you’re not really struggling. So I think there’s like a lot
of conversations where people don’t want to share how much they make because they
don’t want to get judged like their story doesn’t matter. A lot of the stuff
that we’re struggling with now is being able to you know live day to day life
with the amount that we get paid. And there’s a lot of people that are living
paycheck to paycheck and they’re trying so hard to make ends meet but they can’t.
Some people just don’t understand. I prefer not to. I don’t like talking about it. I’m the kind of person and
maybe that’s why I feel like I’m in the position I am and I’ve noticed that
about anyone who is ambitious and successful and happy and that earns that
tends to earn money is that when they see other people who earn more or doing
things like they get inspired by it. So even though I might not be making you
know in my entrepreneurial pursuits right now like six figures. I love seeing
that other people are. It also allows you to see what’s possible. So like even
though like you know with a trusted circle whether that’s like your
co-workers or fellow entrepreneurs it is good to talk about wow like you’re
getting paid that much for like that job. Whereas I didn’t know that was possible
and I was so under selling myself. We just had this conversation. Well I feel
like I’ve had this conversation with everyone here and beyond because I agree
with you. For me when I see somebody running a million dollar business
I don’t think oh you know that person. I think oh my gosh this is what’s possible.
I think income in isolation can be a tough metric to look at. Even from a
professional context someone who has your same job might be making more money
than you but there also might be other things that we don’t know about that. So
I think in those cases I think the pay transparency is still valuable but I
also want to know what those metrics are that the difference is attributed to.
We’re not just chasing numbers, we are chasing the metrics behind them. One, it
doesn’t serve me to have you charge ten times less than me, right? Because that’ll
bring everybody down. I do believe in making the pie bigger. I do think that if you if you are true to yourself you have to have your own value proposition that
you bring to the table for a client or an employer that will stand out and make
them want to hire you. But at the same time if you can expand the industry and
expand and lift up hopefully the pay scale for the industries, lift up
everyone’s pay, that’s gonna be a plus for everyone. You want your peers and
your competition to make more money because it does raise your ask. When I first moved to the city a co-worker of mine who had a year less experience than
me, didn’t have the certifications that I have that are like kind of industry
standard and or like the gold standard for our industry, came up here, got a job, shared his income. And I was like great, I’m gonna get that too. Like he’s just
like yeah I’m gonna put you through. Got an interview, got an offer. His salary was
75 and they started me at 63. Like well I’m gonna try to negotiate this. It’s
probably not my strongest thing. So I said hey I have these two certifications
and I have X amount of time and I also like led a team within my current you
know in my current role. And then I think I got like three thousand dollars more.
Yeah and it was just like. Did you ever call them out? Could you ever call them out and say I know another employee who’s I don’t know that’s.. Well you
wouldn’t tell his name or anything you just say I know for a fact there are
other employees that have been hired within the last year that had less
experience. I ended up rejecting it because I had like the cold hard facts What I’m hearing from your story though
like you should actually feel really empowered and like you were in such a
position of power because you were able to walk away. We’ve all probably been in the situation where it’s like you really wanted something and whether you needed it or really want it or. I mean a lot of women actually need it. They need it to
like survive, pay bills so you know there’s single moms take care of their
families and you know like they’re put in positions where they have to take it
because they don’t have the financial resources to have more options. Which is
why it’s so important yes like on the other side is to learn how to negotiate
and to be more transparent with people you trust. On the other side of it is to
become financially like stable so that way you don’t have to accept whatever is
thrown at you. You can say to someone you know what I know my worth and like
that’s not okay. Thank you so much for tuning in to learn more about each of
these women. Check out the links below and give us a thumbs up if you liked the
video. Leave us a comment with what you think and make sure you subscribe for
more money talk from these wonderful ladies and more.

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