Prior Engagement

Oh! Can I… help you? Suzie! It’s me! Max! Max Jackson! From school? Oh! Hey… Max. What are you – doing here? God – you’re so grown up now. *Perfect*. Yeah, well, so are you. Is there something
I can help you with – ? Yeah! Do you remember that school trip we
went on in Year 8? To Didcot? Vaguely? You sat next to me on the coach; you held
my hand all the way round the railway museum – Yeah, well, they made me hold your hand, everyone
held hands – Not with me they didn’t! Do you remember what we promised each other
that day? We promised that if neither of us were married
by the time we were thirty… we’d marry each other! And guess who’s got two thumbs and three decades
of being alive? This guy! Well… first of all, happy birthday – Thank you! And happy future anniversary! The
church is booked, the priest’s in the car – I know it’s bad luck to see the bride on the
day of the wedding, but given the circumstances – Max: you can’t seriously expect me to keep
to some stupid promise we made when we were kids! It wasn’t just a promise! It was a pinkie
swear! Well, I’m pretty sure that in Year Six, you
promised me a million quid if I gave you one of my Haribo – And I’m a man of my word! Plus, I’ll get half
of it back in five minutes anyway, once we’re – No, Max – I’m actually engaged to someone
else. …Yeah. I thought this might happen, so… I invited a marriage lawyer! Hi, hi, hello, so, um – I’m really sorry about
all of this, but I’ve been over all of the facts, and the
good news is that Mr Jackson’s claim to your hand in marriage is completely invalid – he
hasn’t got a leg to stand on – *Thank you* – – because YOU promised ME… when we were
in primary school, that WE’D get married by the time we were thirty. This is your signature, is it not? *Pete?!* Suzie, hi! Long time no see. I’m a lawyer
now! God, Suzie… I’m so sorry, I had no idea! You should marry him. He’s got dibs. And bagsies. I’m not marrying either of you! I’m marrying
the man I actually promised to marry. Now, if you’ll both excuse me – Hi, Steve – you probably don’t remember me,
but – – when we were at nursery school, we promised
– Of course I do! [wedding march plays] [kissing noises]

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