My Friend Irma: Trip to Coney Island / Rhinelander Charity Ball / Thanksgiving Dinner


New York skyline isn’t it amazing to think that the Indians sold all of Manhattan for only $24 yes silly they could have gotten $1,000 for the Empire State Building alone well that’s what you can expect when you listen to my friend Irma perfect friendship play another friendship lb ha beaver brothers makers of Swan the dope with the exclusive super cream plan presents ah open one with my friend Irma sorry Marie Wilson is Irma and Cathy Lewis exchange [Music] there’s one of those days that make people say that New York is a great place to visit but not to live in why because the temperature is talking the century mark and the humidity is picketing your pores erm and I are stretched out gasping booklets on our patio you see we like to think of our fire escape as a patio Jane yeah oh don’t talk sweetie it’s too hot Gianna what’s the temperature the human body 98 is normal what’s the temperature on the fire escape let me see my goodness it’s 98 so what are we complaining about everything is normal well ordinarily I try and straightener Mouse oh it’s too hot to argue in fact to forget the heat Irma and I are playing a game we’ll hang on the clotheslines around us and try to guess what kind of people each line represents for instance them over there at mrs. Burton’s line there are two silk striped men’s shirts and five pair of boys overall boys quite plain mr. Burton is a big man of our town Jr hasn’t support the family King I’ve got one figured out yeah yes mrs. Adam says two and a half children yeah how did you write a set oh it’s very simple Jenny there’s five a gold star for you or Lapidus I suppose because there are two Sun bonnets hanging on mrs. Horowitz line she has two heads well she does keep yourself – Jane isn’t it warm yeah it’s just about the hottest day I can remember let’s go back into the house maybe she cooled off all right Jane Oh No just it’s hot in here well I think I could lick the temperature down Jane just give me time Irma what are you going to do with all those paper bag I’m going to fill them all up with warm air and put them in the ice box alone cool please honey please many good James over the next time we go out my son promised me you’ll wear a hat oh gosh I wish you a certain way with hula and on the don’t suggest we put coleslaw on our head that’s ridiculous what will we have for supper look aunty if we really want to cool off why don’t we go to Coney Island and sit on the beach yes I know if we were ballet dancers we couldn’t find enough Beach in that crowd to stand on one toe oh but you’re there’s going to be a contest in a parade and the couple with the best personality gets a prize yeah I would honey is such a trek to Coney Island well without enricher it’d be so much fun ha ha ha Richard at Coney Island honey I don’t want to make Rika steam snobbish but the whole picture is out of focus everything like asking mrs. BAMF novel to write a column for the whole goal news oh the gym we have such fun at Coney Island I’ll win so many prizes like when they try to get his weight yeah I know Herman someday they’re gonna find that brick in his back pocket they’ll let him have it but not for a 5 hello oh hello Richard hmm yes of course I’m warm I was it out there in your neck of the woods it is well it just goes to show you even with a cool million you can be hot you know which ain’t telling about Coney Island on the please honey I’m talking wait a minute what what what Bachan no I know aren’t just talking oh gee she has a crazy idea and I am just too ridiculous to talk about it I don’t want to embarrass you she did well she thought you’d like to go to Coney Island his nights do it you’d love to go you think it’s a wonderful idea hold the phone will you Richard I want some water now it’s really hot you’ll be here in an hour oh yes of course we’ll be ready goodbye Emma did you hear that Richard wants to go with it well that’s what I like about Richard he’s not high hat I think for a Republican he’s very democratic now under way I can get in touch with al well finding al may be a problem today being Sunday and everything closed he’s probably looking for a job what are you doing I’m calling his hotel Oh hello is this the hotel Lenox it is well I’d like to speak to al huh he’s not there you don’t expect him back line up all the suitcase you left for security is full of old telephone books and all the sheets and towels are gone well that’s my al he never takes anything for nothing goodbye now let me see what else could it be now honey who are you calling this John the MALDI I hold circle theater a deal still do you still have children in for half price you do over the man walk in an hour go on Annie oh you threw them out again in what direction downtown Thank You Emma don’t bother telephoning if you want to find out just hang a sandwich out the window on a string and you’ll come flying in like a buzzard hello is this a candy store yes I’ll wait honey you’re just wasting time oh I’m not this is the most direct way to find out you see the man in the candy store tells a newsboy and the newsboy tells the first taxi driver yeah I gone yeah and the taxi driver tells the other taxi drivers and the first woman tries by the unemployment office tells Harry Harry why does he tell al Lucci didn’t you know al doesn’t wait in the unemployment line anymore you had to stab you know pretty soon you’ll have a caddy to pick up cigarette butts foreign excuse me Jane yeah literally hello is this a candy oh hello I’ve been trying to reach you where are you in the telephone booth well I I call to see if you like go to Coney Island with us you would you’ll be right over Oh swell Alan thanks a lot for inviting me all right well Jane is new wonderful I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve him like you’ve been something pretty horrible yeah what savings – you gotta wear three well gee I could wear that two-piece blue since I wore last year I don’t take also put on me this year why not you haven’t put on anyway no but I lost my other pieces just wear your green one huh I’m sure that you’ll look sensational huh man only me pick your pocket halogen yet out of a my two little gold chains one with a charm one with a missing link give your little joke I picked up from an old pawnbroker why professor Oh perfecter isn’t he terrible not in my room up there it’s just like going to the seashore you can actually feel the my spray blowing in your face from the broken water body in fact if it didn’t make me so sleepy I would say a bed already makes you sleepy yes I also got a broken gas tie would you like to go to Coney Island with us Coney Island yeah wouldn’t it be fun to go to the beach lie on the sand what do you think is on my father carpet oh come on be serious professor Hermann al are going to Coney Island with richer than me yes you could take mrs. O’Leary after all it’s about time you to patch things up mrs. O’Reilly I wouldn’t have anything to do with her she was the last woman in the world but the looks of us she must have been the first you know it’s too bad the professor in mr. Giovanni don’t get along anymore you know when he was going with her he seemed a lot happier I noticed that too Jane every time she used to ask him for the ready glass yeah come in hello Jane hi I’m uh yeah Oh Richard you’re a little early I’m not quite ready well Jane I don’t like to disappoint you but I’m afraid I won’t be able to go to Coney Island with you oh it should why not is this one of my clients insists on seeing me right away Richard it’s so hot today I know but business before pleasure and all seeing you with a bathing suit would be so much pleasure ah see you say that I can’t be angry could have been such fun though there’s a personality contest a bathing beauty place well this sum is just beginning there’ll be other days maybe we can do it another time goodbye Jane bye Alma bye Richard goodbye oh don’t feel too badly gee mom I’m kind of getting used to it when you’re that way about an important man appointments mean nothing you might as well throw out the clock but how will I know I’m trying to go to work honey it’s just an expression you and I’ll go ahead you have a good time I’ll manage to find something come in some of me again impressive action girls I’ve made up at mrs. O’Reilly I realize I’ve been a blind fool oh that’s wonderful yes the makeup at least Oh Riley you got to be a blind but it’s something about taking her to the beach estimate what is it hi I’m will town it’s out chicken come in out honey hiya folks sorry I’m late was busy cutting off the top of my bathing suit why did you do that fiddling was becoming especially the part that said property at Coney Island bath huh well chicken see you got your bathing suit on ready to go where’s your jeans oh well what you can’t make it so I decided to stay home Oh wouldn’t think it a Jane you can come with her money well that’s that’s sweet of you well alright I’ll go along but you don’t have to worry about entertaining me I just want to get a breath of air oh that’s wonderful an hour I hope we win the Prix maladie contest first now be content yes we parade in closet judges in our bathing suit it’ll be a novelty stand in front of a judge and not having to plead not guilty now the perspective mr. O’Reilly are coming with us – that’s what I tell you don’t want to be afraid to go into water with mrs. O’Reilly around the Sharks wouldn’t dare come inside the three-mile limit hello al if there’s a minute you’re Alex for you they frame me I got a big fast Janell about no rally said he’s a friend oh hello friend what’s on your mind you got a guy who wants to invest in my deal Charlie are you sure he’s alright oh he just twitches a little hook on that case don’t send me a we’ll go down and see you thanks charlie if anything the box will cut you in divine chicken we’ll have to cancel our Beach trip someone wants to put on my latest deal oh well you and your deal this one may be the turning point in my life enabled me to marry you marry me yeah and let’s face it chicken money is very important in the early years of our marriage if the children can’t collect unemployment insurance until they’re 16 so we’ll be talking with you chicken goodbye [Music] don’t die honey I was stood up too but now we can’t go to Coney Island or says you can but you’re taking miss O’Reilly that’s the point when you take something like mr. O’Reilly you’ve got to have an antidote my arm girl call me Island here we come [Applause] you know they call New York City the melting pot I don’t know what it’s true all year round but in the summer if you want to melt believe me there’s no place like New York course if you want relief there’s always Coney Island it is relief because after a day at Coney Island you can’t wait til you get back to New York Oh frankly I don’t know why we came here Coney Island has turned out to be a nothing a crowded nothing irma because al didn’t come along is utterly miserable she hasn’t stopped eating since we got here she always eats like that when Alice stood her up he doesn’t helps fill the emptiness inside er as for me without Richard I’m completely bored there’s only one person seems to be enjoying himself and that’s professor Kropotkin you know why he’s burying this is O’Reilly in the sand he keeps saying can you still buddy you and when mrs. O’Reilly says yes professor he says got to get more sand Emma is still moping Shan what is it sweetie you know sometimes I wish there was no such thing as men wish it was something else what would you like them to be Oh anything canary birds dogs no I wouldn’t be any good we’d be spending our time in pet shops yeah it’d be such trouble to find a husband who is housebroken look honey forget about our disappointing you we’re on the beach we came here to enjoy ourselves let’s be gay laughs ever that’s hard me alive well I can’t help but dream my heart’s not in it why not honey a man just sat on our lunch well that’s fine that’s fine that’s all we needed oh are you Betty busy no professor what do you want could you please help me find mrs. Rhode Island Oh professor don’t you remember where you buried it well I put the paper planes over the spot but the wind blew it away oh here comes miss O’Reilly hello girl well there you are professor mrs. Otto Lee will have you been was up on the boardwalk professor I rented our names in the personality contest you and me your name and my name yes you think we have a chance to win no but we could set a good example of what would happen if Cupid ever starts using poison bar Oh what’s your sufen come on professor walk me to the bathhouse I want to change into me other bathing suit you have another suit with you missis alone oh yes I understand that a girl’s figure plays a very important part in these contests so I think I’d better wear the bathing suit that leaves minis exposed we’ll see you later girl everybody’s getting an a personality contest but me yeah well I’m not in it either honey we just happen to be stranded without our men I feel terrible yeah why are you going sweetie well I think I’ll take a swim they say an ocean voyage makes you forget valera don’t go out too far remember you’ve just eaten you might get a cramp all right you know be careful why don’t you take a swim with me no thanks honey this bathing suit dissolves in water no that’s it here amuse myself have fun I will goodbye pardon me man yes I just realized I’ve been sitting on your lunch oh that’s all right you don’t have to look so terrified but I am a lot of that stuff isn’t on my diet [Music] what goodbye now well I will be praying Jane well yeah well what are you doing here I thought you were tied up on Prison was but the deal fell through as could be expected yeah but this one seems like such a natural it’s a device for guys who don’t want to break their promise to their wives when they told them they’re going on the way what is it it’s a bar on the way what the guy didn’t go for it so let’s forget it Jane we’re chicken oh he’s in the water al last time I saw her she was right up al look at that crowd the lifeguards bringing someone in so what good-looking lifeguards something probably calling for help oh it’s Emma Emma on the wait a minute chicken curry yeah but our accidents gonna happen to the best swimmers come on let’s help her it looks like she don’t need no help look at the way she’s got her arms around his shoulders Oh al don’t be narrow so he’s carrying her what do you wanted to do when she’s drowning carry him well I don’t like it Jane and I’m gonna let her know it oh hello Jane Oh al gee I’m so glad to see you you see I almost drowned yeah fun wasn’t it what do you mean out of chicken I saw the way you were hugging that life God when he was carrying it well I wasn’t hugging him I was practically unconscious in fact that’s what the laughs the lifeguard told me all the way your kneecaps in where do you want me to take you unconscious because you were focus on I was disappoint you for the personality contest didn’t give you a light to carry on with some other guy well now you’ve got the right because I’m stepping off the picture goodbye meta hurry please you know let him go please go after him don’t let him go don’t worry about him honey give it a chance to cool off I don’t want him to cool off Suns going down I’m getting chilly queen mall honey all right you’re going to get hysterical I suppose I’ll have to go after him ow ow ow wait a minute women I want to talk to leave I mean I’ve made up my mind look al al Irma want you to come back frankly a five-hour might not only give you railroad fare I carry your bags to the station but her mo loves you and I’m not going to see you her because I love her MA oh I don’t want to hurt chicken oh you don’t want to hurt her do you realize what that girl goes through every time you quarrel with her do you realize what I go through well let me tell you remember last October when you made a date with another girl yeah well she tried to kill herself by gasp she turned on the stole then she sat in front of it for six hours before she remembered it was electric then so it would be a total loss you baked a cake almost killed all of us al I have only one life to give to my country but to me you’re not Uncle Sam you mean I really affect chicken that month yes you do and if you’re half a man you’ll enter the personality contest with her so she can have a little fun come on what do you say yeah sure Jane don’t want to worry my future wife and have her hair turn prematurely gray you’ll have a tough enough time getting a job every day you want to have to obtain they look pretty good no thanks yeah well tell chicken I’ll meet her here on the boardwalk for the contest gotta make a call who are you calling al who else but hello Joe Wow got a problem that’s enough for me goodbye al say Joe I’m at Coney Island going to enter a personality contest with Irma what do you suggest uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh mm-hmm get the personality contest and go over to the shooting gallery if I want to clean up the Joe there’s no money and knocking over clay pigeons or you don’t mean clay pigeons the manager is loaded now y’all may be mistaken but think managers are out of season well enter the contest despite your advice goodbye noble friend well we’re on the boardwalk and the personality contest has just begun there go Allen Erma I must say that Irma looks adorable she’s not an armed with al and they’re doing a funny little dance step I won’t say it’s not graceful I’ll only say that one look at it north of murid burned down her studios I was smiling broadly and strutting with his chest out he couldn’t be any happier if he had a roof you guarantee that you wouldn’t get a job for the next 20 years you know I think she’s gonna win I’m sure she is Richard but Jane I’ve been looking all over for you I tried to get here in time for the contest but I guess I’m too late Richard would would you have entered this contest with you any time oh let should imagine the two of us standing here in the Sun with the temperature 140 well it’s not a hundred and forty well it is when you talk that way look Richard look our nerve of won the contest crossover hair Oh Jane can you look at this wonderful cup I want Oh congratulations honey thanks but personally I don’t think it’s fair why not well L win the contest with me and if I want to cut the least they could’ve done was give him the saucer [Music] the other night I came home and found her putting a bathing cap on a cake of Swan soap before she put it in the bathtub so I said Emma what’s the bathing cap for and Irma said I don’t want my Swan to get water in his ears what’s the tape you know very well the derma isn’t serious because she knows that the best place for Swan soap is right in the dish pan sure when it comes to washing dishes swans in a class by itself why even the way a cake of Swan feels tells you it’s a perfect dishwashing soap next time feel the cake with your fingertips co-housed wands super creams blend makes it differ from other soaps it feels smoother then feel those mild Swan suds in your dish pan they feel different – richer creamier and they protect your hand yes thanks to Swan super cream blend your hands are left with a smooth soft young look and here’s an added note lady those Swan suds rinse away so completely your dishes don’t need wiping now that’s a real time saver so remember if you want a soap that protect your hand a soap that’ll get you out of the kitchen in a hurry you want the soap with the exclusive super creamed phlegm swans Oh [Music] well the contest is over but it’s still too hot to breathe so when we got home I said no honey let’s go to a movie they’re air-conditioned well what’s playing James oh and lots of good pictures the Fuller Brush man so evil my love the great waltz which one would you like to see Gone with the Wind Gone with the Wind or what you’ve seen that picture 18 times in the past 10 years yes isn’t it wonderful the way Clark Gable never gets a day older well Gable may not be getting any older but believe me I’m getting a little grayer living with my friend Irma my friend Irma presented by Swan another fine product of Libra brothers company was produced and directed by sy Howard tonight script was written by sy Howard and park levy my friend Irma stars Marie Wilson is Irma and Kathy Lewis is Jane the part of Professor Kropotkin with played by honk country ladies and gentlemen this is an important announcement you all know the security lone Drive is on well do you know just how much buying security bonds will help you save will help you reach objectives like a retirement income education for your children start today enroll in a regular payroll saving plan where you work or where you bank but above all start to save now by buying and holding united states security bonds frankly speaking secrets I leave I’ll spy yes there’s a reason why spry makes crab cakes spry has an amazing cake improver secret try the spry one ball way and be sure of lighter finer richer cakes every time no other type of shortening has surprised cake improver or new cake making success try spry the pure all vegetable shortening rely on fry FBI [Music] next week one hour earlier and listen to the lux radio theater initially followed by my friend Irma this is CBS where 99 million people gather every week they Columbia Broadcasting System Oh [Music] [Music] [Music] for the safety of your smile use Pepsodent twice a day see your dentist twice a year vaporbrothers company presents the Pepsodent show my friend Irma created by sy Howard and starring Marie Wilson is Irma with Joan banks as James friendship friendship and just perfect friendship when other friendships event there’s will be hot [Music] [Applause] [Music] you know when a girl is beautiful like my roommate I’m a Peterson it’s all pretty wonderful she has a lovely figure gorgeous blonde hair and a face that fairly takes your breath away people wonder why it doesn’t go to her head I’ll tell you why because there it would die of malnutrition don’t get me wrong I love the girl it’s only that sometimes she does things that give me a groan in the dome for instance the other day I was reading the paper and I said Erma yes Jane it says here that our shoreline is receding at the rate of one inch every thousand years see that’s wonderful I can hardly wait to go bathing on Fifth Avenue [Music] it takes all kinds of people to make a world but right now I’m too excited to even think about it you see I just received a letter from Richard Rhinelander my ex employer and still a number one guy in my dreams Jane yes sweetie what’s the letter from it’s from Richard Richard Oh Jane what does he say I’ll read it to you dear Jane dear Jane oh he loved you what makes you say that prezzie said dear Irma for your information at income tax time I got a letter from the government saying dear miss Stacy and believe me the Treasury Department and I are not engaged around with everybody else in here I um dear Jane I am basking in the Sun at the Rossmore Hotel in Palm Springs I will be back in New York for Thanksgiving and I am bringing you a Mexican serape oh gosh he’s adopted a baby a serape is a blanket he simply mentioned the gift to show that he’s thinking about me isn’t that sweet yes men can be so sweet too when they’re far away grace I like them close to you can take all the blankets you want I’ll take Alan person obese Guillermo hey I’ve got an idea since Richard will be back on Thanksgiving lets you and I give a turkey dinner here in the apartment for our boyfriends whoo that’ll be wonderful Jane I’m sure I’ll have the day off because it’s a legal holiday and the unemployment office will be closed grande now look Irma it’s very important that we don’t say anything about this to mrs. O’Reilly and the professor it’s been a long time since I’ve seen Richard and I don’t want it spoiled by their constant quarreling so remember now not a word well I understand Jane I won’t mention the word turkey once good I’ll just say we’re having chicken no Irma just don’t say anything about Thanksgiving is that clear of course Jean come in hello girls oh hello mrs. O’Reilly Merry Christmas Christmas my Irma darlin Thanksgiving isn’t here yet oh the cats are the bear ma well we’re not having any turkey you know uh how is everything with you mrs. O’Reilly not so good Janie it’s that professor Kropotkin again he left another one of his in certain notes on the door just listen to this when I look into your eyes my heart just flip ups well I think that’s a beautiful thought that’s what I thought and can I read the rest of it look what comes next that’s because you have a face that scares away me hiccups well you know the professor he doesn’t mean anything by it I don’t know about that Janey the other day he took me to an antique show and I was having a wonderful time bidding on an early Americans copper bathtub and all of a sudden the professor began to laugh what was so funny he said it was the first time he’d ever seen one tub written on another Toby come in it’s only me professors reports kid hallo Jamie I’m a and mrs. O’Reilly my three little birds Jamie graceful like a swan right Thank You professor and I’m a little lovebird Oh professor that’s sweet and you mrs. O’Reilly yes old bat you you will be a dead duck before I get through with you no not take it easy mrs. or I love us on the joking not to me you are really an inspiration why well it’s true it’s true seeing you here in the half-light with your beautiful red hair brings to mind my first romance her name was Sonja every evening I would find her by the lake with her faithful collie and this is why every time I see you standing like this I want to call out and say here over here [Music] well your mangy old musician is the two of you don’t you ever know when to call it quits I’m sorry Jenny mrs. Li Li I apologize well life I should think you would I try so hard to be friendly with everyone after all it’ll soon be Thanksgiving yes and if you say I look like a turkey I’ll beat your brains out well turkey of every murmur remind you of what dearie will you see where it reminds her of the 4th of July 4th of July yes if you open your mouth there’ll be fireworks well I for one have made no plans for Thanksgiving but as far back as I can remember I’ve always been invited to a turkey dinner is that so tell me mrs. Alawi I’ve always wanted to know was miles Standish a big etern well as a matter of fact Eva’s now look here you all want mrs. Holly I’m sure we’ll all have a place to go on Thanksgiving I never worry about it Janie you see Thanksgiving is so near the first of the year and everyone wants to renew their lease so I always get invited to dinner yeah I got throat trouble too and I’m sure my best friends won’t forget me mr. al you’re priceless come on we’ll take a walk over to the automobile showrooms I want you should stand alongside of a new Nash so I can make a comparison oh I know what you mean professor we’re both so streamlined yes and you both seat four in the front [Music] why you well that was a bit of a hint wasn’t it Irma oh yes gee what are we going to do nothing we’ll just go ahead with the dinner as we planned after all we’re two young girls with bows and we’re entitled to a little pleasure certainly we’re not married personally I don’t think the professor Minds not being invited too much but as for mrs. O’Reilly well she is our landlady we’ve got to stay on the right side of it so again Irma let me remind you we do nothing to arouse her suspicion who you can trust me Jane I won’t breathe it to a living soul or any of my other friends good and look honey I’ve got to hurry to keep an appointment with the dentist so would you mind going to the butchers and ordering the turkey now so we’ll have a good bird well I’ll be glad to Jane bond see you later sweetie hello what’s that you say my multiple theory on atomic fission works oh that’s nice who’s it working for oh no I’m sorry this isn’t Einstein my name is Peterson and you have the wrong number but talking about fission if you ever want to go fishing I’ll be glad to go goodbye Jean I know how Barbara Stanwyck felt and sorry wrong number come in are you chicken hello al honey Allen do you have any plans for Thanksgiving hey well to tell you the truth chicken I did plan on taking you out to dinner but got a last-minute phone call which makes it necessary for me to be out of town Thanksgiving oh yeah Jay and I are having a big turkey dinner here and you’re invited now you can’t make it Oh your own chicken just happen to remember they took my phone out just before the call came through [Music] you’re always making sacrifices for me glad to help you chicken Oh Jane wants me to go right out and order the turkey yet chicken are you and Jane gonna have all the trimmings you know cranberry sweet potato stuffing celery yellows Oh Cheryl well in that case I want to chip in oh well it will be necessary oh no I insist all right Alice it’ll make you feel any better Oh what would you like to bring well let’s see yeah I could bring flowers might give you a hay fever no point in bringing more candy just brought your pack of life savers last week champagne have you I got it for them olives you’re buying you’ll need toothpicks count on me for that oh this is this is all on us we want to catch the full spirit of the holiday al what chicken how did they get the idea of having turkey on Thanksgiving glad you come to me for knowledge chicken because I’m loaded with it see Thanksgiving originated with a bunch of pilgrims who came to America led by some very famous men such as William Penn Buffalo Bill and Wild Bill Hickok Hickok oh I know he’s the man who invented the suspenders yeah we’re sensitive now the pilgrims really had a tough winter there was a housing shortage manufacturing was at a standstill and everybody was really beaten out of work so naturally they thought they had something to be thankful for so they decided to give a feast oh I see now the big delicacy in EM days was bear meat so they sent an Indian guide out to trap a bear unfortunately this guide was nearsighted and by mistake he come back with a turkey well imagine that yeah and to this day if it wasn’t for that slight defect in Hiawatha’s vision we’d all be sitting down to a Thanksgiving dinner of stuffed bear okay that would have been perfect for our dinner then we could all have a drumstick oh well them’s the breaks come on chicken I’ll walk it on stare is that you or mommy come on in oh hello mrs. O’Reilly will you look awfully upset is anything wrong yes I’ve just told the Martins upstairs that I have a rule no pets of any kind in this house yes I know how strict you are about that well I just found out they have a canary and either that bird goes are they go I’m going right back up there and give them five minutes to make up their mind whoa Richard how nice of you to call me long distance yes I got your letter what oh all rich Oh Oh murder Richard but what I sound crazy I’m going crazy I can’t talk to you right now Irma just walked in with a live turkey goodbye oh right merry Thanksgiving Jane Ernie Petersen how could you bring home a live Turkey well you know as I trying to save money what do you mean save money well I felt this one is already stopped that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard take that turkey back oh I can’t Jane the butcher said he won’t take George back George yes that’s his name how do you know well of what you said do you really want this Turkey when I said yes he said well bye George so I did [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] your winning smile is a Pepsodent smile again and again people have found it true the smile that wins is the Pepsodent smile the story of Nancy rule proves it her smile won success in the fabulous world of fashion from Kentucky Center College Nancy went to Chicago to begin her career in a department store there she won promotions and a husband now she’s fashion stylist for their own store in Freeport Illinois when Nancy presents costumes she’s chosen at new york’s glittering style previews her winning smile is an important asset nancy said it’s a Pepsodent smile I’ve used Pepsodent toothpaste ever since I was in college I love the way it brightens my teeth like Nancy rule people all over America have found the smile that wins is the Pepsodent smile in recent comparison tests thousands of people preferred Pepsodent with areum over the brands they’ve been using at home yes Pepsodent won by the overwhelming average of three to one for it’s cool minty taste for making breath cleaner and teeth brighter try new Pepsodent toothpaste with areum and you will see the smile at wins is the Pepsodent smile let’s pause here on KRLD [Music] to find out more about old-time radio old-time video and the pleasures of listening to audiobooks visit the audiobook club website stay tuned in our next hour I’ll have the conclusion to my friend Irma plus an exciting episode of Richard diamond private detective here on KRLD Media Bay dot-com welcome back to the radio Hall of Fame on KRLD news radio 1080 I’m Carl Amari now for the conclusion to my friend Irma [Music] well I sent my roommate out to buy a turkey it’s funny I always thought her name was Irma Peterson but it’s turned out to be Frank buck because she had to bring it back alive she’s standing in the doorway with the turkey in her arms she is looking at the turkey and the turkey is looking at her and I’m looking at both of them and I don’t know which head to cut off her mo what in the world made you buy a live turkey well he didn’t specify Jinyan and he looks so lonely but sweetie you know mrs. o’reilly doesn’t allow pets of any sort in the apartment what will we tell her she’ll throw us out well we could have cut a hole in the wall and let the turkeys head stick through and tell her we shot at in Africa Irma before I shoot myself let me make one thing clear there is still a great housing shortage if mrs. o’reilly finds out we’re not inviting her to Thanksgiving dinner and then finds out we have a live turkey in the apartment all three of us can take a boat to Africa oh no James we’re going to take a trip I’d rather get you on a slow boat to China erna this is no time for joking we’re in trouble well now let’s see a crusher must be somewhere fully mr. Riley I have it I just bought a new hat and maybe I can train the bird to sit on and I can say it came back way no sweetie it’s liable to lay an egg and we wouldn’t be able to tell it from your head nobody but you would bring home a turkey by the name of George Oh see Jane does it make it he knows his name look Emma I’m not going to waste any more words there’s only one thing for us to do you’ll have to to kill it kill George Oh Jane I can’t why not would make him an orphan Hey I’ve grown very fond of know for goodness sakes that’s ridiculous oh you see he just called me mother okay you know I couldn’t do it oh stop dramatizing it it’s not that difficult you just take a sharp knife and well you just cut off its head it’s simple but that’s murder Oh preposterous and if there’s nothing to it then you do it alright I what’s he saying now once a lawyer oh this is silly you and your imagination you’re making a nervous wreck out of me what that’s mrs. O’Reilly this is the yank and who is it me oh come in Oh Jane hi chicken I was just about hey that birds a little early for dinner any never mind the dialog al are you a man well unless I forgot to take off my Halloween costume yes what Irma bought this live Turkey and if mrs. o’reilly finds out about it we’re all dead ducks so would you kill it for us Oh me nothing doing I ain’t got nothing against him al don’t tell me you’re squeamish cannot stand the sight of blood come to a medium-rare steak one time almost passed down don’t blame mistake it wasn’t the blood you saw it was the check no Jane al has a soft heart I know because every time I think about him I get the same feeling in my head thanks chicken but know what to do you see in a case like this there’s only one man who can help us well who else but hello Joe got a problem have to knock off a certain bird what’s my move well for a c-note one of your boys casual Kaspar will do the job so it looked like an accident no no Joe this is a feathered bird a turkey what do you advise uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh [Music] thanks Joe and goodbye noble friend well your problem is solved girls all we have to do is spread breadcrumbs around the electric fan and when your little turkey when your little turkey starts poking his head around them blades you turn on the switch set the tape [Applause] no L I don’t think I care for feathered wallpapers oh this could be it hello there New York reports key oh come in hello Jamie I mind Alan oh look it’s a turkey for a minute I thought it was mrs. O’Reilly his name is George a pleasure girls I don’t want to be a wet blanket but if mrs. irani she’s that bird and realizes she isn’t looking in a mirror she’s gonna throw your boat right now we know that professor maybe you can help us huh anything you want I knew we could count on you would you kill the turkey for us certainly it’s simple well how are you going to do it I’ll tell him he has to share my room with me and he’ll commit suicide well I can see you’re not trying to be any help well Ernie we have no choice I know it sounds ridiculous but we’re going to put a leash around that birds neck and you and I are going to walk him down to the butcher shop oh but genius Irma my mind is made up all right come on George oh so long George have you seen you Thanksgiving you won’t be seeing me but I’ll be seeing you [Music] well we managed to get the turkey out of the building without mrs. O’Reilly serious and now we’re walking it down the street Irma is leading the turkey on a leash come on Fido here Fido Irma why are you calling Fido well we won’t be conspicuous if people think it’s a dog Irma can’t you get that turkey to go faster no I think he knows where we’re going he keeps pulling back that’s silly Jane what he’s looking at you he’s I mean so what you got tears in his eyes it’s just your imagination come on oh there’s the butchers Irma please stop pulling on my skirt that isn’t me it’s a turkey it is yes why don’t you look at him stop being so emotional after all it’s only a turkey I think I had no willpower if I allowed myself to be good Irma yes what’s he doing now he’s still staring at you and crying oh this is ridiculous we’re behaving like children now there’s nothing to it come on Irma here’s the butcher you take him in I can’t he trusts me mahira my if you think I’m gonna let a turkey make a fool out of me oh mama what cane I think he trusts me too [Music] well we’re back in the apartment irma myself and guess who that’s right dear little George so far we haven’t crossed paths with mrs. O’Reilly but it’s only a matter of time Irma however is quite calm about the whole thing she’s knitting Irma what are you doing I’m knitting some booties Irma care for George I mean georgette she just laid an egg Oh quick Irma put the turkey in the bathroom this might be mrs. O’Reilly who all right Jane okay he’s in the bathroom come in hello Janey I thought you had company I heard a strange voice well that was me you are me yes it was her yes there I go again are you sure that you yes I’ll have hiccups but it sounded like a bird oh I had eggs for breakfast mrs. irani tell me where did you buy that lovely hats I’m not wearing a hat it’s very becoming don’t change the subject I know what’s going on you’ve got something in that bathroom and I’m going to find out what it is right now well Erma get the suitcases we might as well start packing Oh girls all we ever forgive me for being so suspicious the bathrooms empty that sound must have come from other the other apartments I go see or I’m so sorry I bothered you oh um I can’t believe it let’s look in the bathroom well for goodness sakes you left the window open and georgette is flown away Erma we’re saved well this is terrible what do you mean terrible who’s gonna sit on the egg [Music] [Applause] your winning smile is a Pepsodent smile again and again people have found the smile that wins is the Pepsodent smile that’s borne out by the vote of thousands who tried new Pepsodent toothpaste with areum in a recent nationwide test these people were given plain unlabeled tubes of Pepsodent and were asked to compare it with the brand’s they were using at home when their votes came in Pepsodent won by the overwhelming average of three to one these people say new Pepsodent tastes better makes their breath cleaner and our teeth brighter than any other toothpaste they tried remember that’s not just our opinion that’s what people say they say it three two one they’ve seen Pepsodent with areum remove the film that makes teeth look dull uncover new brightness in their smiles try it and you will see this smile that wins is the Pepsodent smile [Music] well the day is saved we still have no turkey for Thanksgiving but at least we haven’t been dispossessed by mrs. O’Reilly who’s so strict about her rule no pets irma however seems to be terribly concerned about this Erma honey what’s troubling you oh gosh now I’m afraid to have a I’ll come over all we do is pet and you know talking about pets me Jane Stacy I’m happy to live a dog’s life with my friend Irma [Music] my friend Irma is produced and directed by sy Howard parks levy writes the script with Stanley items role in the claim and it’s brought to you by pepsin and toothpaste with area another fine product of Lieber father’s company Marie Wilson is gone is Armand the Joan banks is Jane the part of Al was played by John Brown Hans can read was heard as professor Watkyn and Gloria Gordon as mrs. arrival musicals under the direction of blood busker don’t forget you’ll be able to hear my friend aura on the big to our star-studded Thanksgiving Day program over most of these stations losses due to fires are an all-time high and still skyrocketing with preventable fires striking at the lives of our citizens their homes communities in our forests it behooves all of us to help prevent the destruction and loss which fire in evitable causes there’s there’s one denial dividing you two children one hour earlier next week and listen to the much Radio Theater followed by the subsidence oh my friend Irma CBS the Columbia Broadcasting System [Music]

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