Margee Talks About A Traditional Same Sex Wedding – A Jewish Wedding Story


So my wife and I decided to have a traditional
Jewish wedding ceremony. Judaism is so much part of our identity. There was no way we weren’t doing a Jewish
wedding. We had a ketubah, we circled each other, we
stepped on the glass, and we said the seven Jewish blessings, the sheva b’rachot. And we said them word for word, as they traditionally
are said, in Hebrew. We just, instead of “bride and groom,” it
was “bride and bride.” But for the English translation, we chose
translations that were more fitting to us in our community. I don’t feel like we changed them that much,
because the English words we chose were really what we feel the Hebrew says in spirit. For many years, a lot of people have felt
excluded from those words because they can be interpreted in a way that is not necessarily
empowering to same sex couples. So we had to have a lot of conversations about
that, and come to the decision that we really did want to use the traditional language and
reclaim it for ourselves. By using the traditional language, it felt
like we were loudly affirming our existence in the community. That we were Jewish, and that it doesn’t matter
if we didn’t look how somebody might consider a traditional Jewish couple. We were a Jewish couple. Our last wedding, the legal wedding, it was
at San Francisco city hall the day after same sex marriage became legal throughout California. What was probably the most amazing thing about
that wedding was how many people were there that I didn’t know. And they were so happy for us. And how many people who saw the Jewish symbols,
saw the rabbi who was marrying us, he had a rainbow tallit on, rainbow prayer shawl. A bunch of people in the space had kippot
on, had head coverings, and how many people came up and said, “Are you Jewish, are
you having a Jewish wedding?” When we said yes, they said, “Can we watch? I’m Jewish. Can I be here?” It was so beautiful that our love and our
wedding ceremony could be meaningful to more than just us. We are now legally married, which is very
exciting.

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