John Early Tells the Strange Story of Officiating Amy Schumer’s Wedding

-Oh, my God! John, how are you? -I’m good. How are you?
-Good. Congratulations on the shirt. -And just, yeah, eyes up here. -Yeah, yeah.
[ Laughter ] -Eyes up here, Seth.
-It’s very hard. -Yeah, I know. These are
my nipples, not my eyes. -Yeah, okay, gotcha.
-Okay? -Just keep it up here. -You guys saw that, right?
He keeps looking — [ Laughter ] And in this climate,
it’s just — -It’s —
[ Laughter ] -Wow. You know?
-Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry. I will do my best.
-Thank you. -Is this a shirt,
when you see this shirt, right away, are you like,
“I have to have it”? -Well, I actually stole this from the wardrobe
of “Search Party.” -Oh, wow.
-Yeah. -This is your wonderful show,
yeah. -Yeah, yeah, thank you.
We don’t have to talk about it. But, no, I just asked
the wardrobe department if I could borrow it
for the show. So thank you, Matthew. [ Laughter ] -We — I’m trying to get the
timeline right. We — Did we meet
at Amy Schumer’s wedding? Was that the first time? That
was before you were on the show. -We did. We met
at Amy Schumer’s wedding. -And I was a fan of yours. -Shut up!
-But I did not see you. -I was. Because you married Amy Schumer. -Yes.
-And her husband, Chris Fisher, who I have known — who
I actually knew before I even — -Knew before,
I didn’t know that. Let’s get into it —
Just kidding. [ Laughter ]
I’m sorry. -But you married them. -I officiated their wedding. -Yes.
-Yes. -And you did it in character. -[ Chuckling ] Yes.
-So, how — You did it as a character
of yours named Vicky. -Vicky with a “V.”
-Yeah. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -How did this come about? -Um… [ Laughs ] I got a text from Amy, who I barely knew at that point. I want to be clear.
-Yeah. -Like, less than a week
before her wedding, I got a text from her that said,
“Will you officiate my wedding? Adele backed out.” [ Laughter ] And for those of you, right, in,
you know, in the audience and at home who are thinking,
“Who is he? Who even is he?” you know, you’re not wrong.
Okay? It’s like Adele and then —
you know. -“Don’t worry. Adele backed out.
We got a backup, though.” -Yeah. Yeah, we have a very different,
kind of, career milestones. -Yeah. -Yeah, but she asked me, which
I thought was kind of very punk, and kind of like — You know, she at that point
was a fan of “The Characters,” which Vicky was on. -Yes, this is a Netflix show,
“The Characters.” -Second episode. Please watch. And — No one’s seen it.
[ Laughter ] And she was always kind of
championing that show and very kind of
evangelical about it, very sweet to me about it. And that’s kind of
all that I even — That was the depth
of our entire relationship. -And you —
And she asked you to write it. -Well, she asked me first
to do it as myself. -Okay.
-Which, I was like, “Aah!” You know, because, it was like, ’cause that suggests a level
of intimacy with the couple that I, like, frankly
did not have. -Yeah. -And so, I was horrified. And then — But I said yes. Because I was like,
“I can’t say no.” -Right. -You know, because
we bow down to Amy. -Yes, of course. -And then the next morning,
she texted me. She read my mind. She was like,
“Will you do it as Vicky?” And I was like, “That’s genius.”
Because I feel like with Vicky, who’s kind of
a Southern Christian mom, you know, she’s a road comic. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -She’s like a populist comic. -She likes denim. -She loves denim.
-Yeah. -She’s always looking for
her denim, is her catchphrase. “Don’t cross my Christian ass when I’m, what?
Looking for my denim,” you know? [ Laughter ] It literally makes no sense.
I was so high when I wrote it. [ Laughter ] But — So, yeah,
she asked me to do it as Vicky, which I was like,
“This is perfect ’cause I feel like
I can strike the right balance of, like, funny
but also sincerity.” Because, you know, I don’t —
I’m sure you agree with me. It’s like, I feel like
it’s easier to tell the truth when you’re wearing a wig. -Yeah. -You know.
-But there was something — Also, there was
very little explanation. -[ Laughing ] Yeah, yeah. Yeah. -I was familiar with you.
I was familiar with Vicky. -Somehow.
-I think I was in the — -Very sweet of you. -I was in the minority of people
at the wedding. -Yes, yes. It was like —
Well, this is — The night before,
I was so, so scared. I was just so overwhelmed by the pressure
of officiating a wedding, you know,
and Amy Schumer’s wedding. And I was like, “Well, I need
to know who is on the guest list so I can, like, you know,
maybe roast them a little bit.” You know. And I asked — I made the mistake of asking the
wedding planner who was there, and it was, like,
Jake Gyllenhaal, Jennifer Lawrence, Larry David,
Lauren Hutton. Like, I was like, “Aah!” [ Laughter ] My second scream, by the way. Scream count. #ScreamCount. [ Laughter ] So, yeah. But I was like,
none of these people — Not only are they not going to
know who this woman is, Vicky, like, they’re certainly not
going to then somehow determine from under the makeup
that it’s me. And even if
I looked like myself, they would still be like, “Who?”
you know, so — It was like
many layers of terror. And, like, when I was up there,
there was a lot of, like — [ Laughter ] And I think, also, like,
the point of Vicky is that she is in kind of
a gorgeous, lace-front wig. It’s very realistic drag.
-Yeah. -It’s, like, beautiful,
hyper-real makeup. You know, it’s not — Like, I did pass. -Yeah.
-You know what I mean? -It wasn’t — You didn’t
immediately think, “Oh, this is a male comedian
in a wig.” -Right, “This is a drag queen.” -This is Vicky with a “V.” -This is Vicky with a “V,” yeah. -Proof is in the pudding. We actually have a clip
of the wedding. -Yes, and listen
to what I first say. -Yeah, this is —
And by the way, again, we do not know each other
at the time. -Yes, yes.
-And I — This made me cackle out loud. -Thank God.
-Let’s take a look. -Dearly beloved and Seth Meyers,
we are gathered here today for what I’ve just been told
is a Jewish wedding. [ Applause ] Amy, I am so proud of you. You
look just like a little virgin. [ Laughter ] And Chris, my God. What do I have to do
to have uno noche with you? [ Laughter ] You can throw
some Mrs. Dash on me and saute me in a pan
until I’m golden brown. Amy, I’m s– I’m way
out of line. I’m so sorry. Now, what I like
about Chris and Amy’s love is that it is an evolved love. It’s two great grown-ups who are simply ready to
hold onto each other real tight as our great nation
burns to the ground. [ Laughter ] -Bravo.
-Thank you. -Bravo.
-Thank you. [ Cheers and applause ]
-And I truly — When the wedding planner told me
that you were in the audience, I was like, I felt so safe.
-Oh, that’s very nice to hear. -Even though
we didn’t know each other, I did feel this connection that, of course,
has become iconic, arguably. [ Laughter ]


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