HomeArticlesHow to Have Sex in the Office and Not Get Caught
How to Have Sex in the Office and Not Get Caught
September 5, 2019
How to Have Sex in the Office and Not Get
Caught. Whatever your reason for getting it on in the workplace – and, trust us, we
don’t want to know – make sure it stays between you and your amour. You will need
Easy-to-remove clothes A comfortable spot and wet wipes. Step 1. Make sure you know
the location of all office security cameras so your little romp isn’t caught on tape.
Surveillance equipment is typically placed near entry and exit points and in rooms than
contain merchandise or other valuables. But employers have been known to put cameras in
employees’ private offices. It’s illegal to put cameras in restrooms, so that’s usually
a safe place. Step 2. Dress for sex-cess, meaning clothes that go on and off quickly
and don’t wrinkle easily. Going commando saves a lot of time. Ladies, remove your lipstick
so your partner doesn’t become a marked man. Step 3. Choose an out-of-the way location
that doesn’t get much foot traffic. A closet with a locked door is an excellent option.
Step 4. If one of you has an office, record yourselves having a fake conference call,
then play the recording from behind closed doors; sounds of an important meeting will
make co-workers think twice before barging in. Lean a chair under the office doorknob
to thwart surprise visitors; you can later claim the door was jammed if anyone asks.
Step 5. Don’t return to your desk without freshening up. Be sure to check your clothes
for dead giveaways like inside-out blouses and missed buttons. Step 6. Play it safe by
waiting until everyone leaves work for the night. Just make sure you know the cleaning
staff’s routine and schedule before you pick a time and place or you’ll experience
a whole different kind of coitus interruptus. Step 7. If you _are_ caught, say a simple
“I’m sorry,” and get back to work. Attempting to explain or justify can only make matters
worse. Did you know Nineteen percent of men and eight percent of women say they’ve had
sex at their workplace, according to one survey.