Gravid v.5-17 / Pregnant w.5-17

Today is Monday and it was last Thursday I took the positive pregnancy test So it’s been 4 days It’s been really, really hard for me to understand that I’m pregnant I don’t know I don’t know it’s just been hard to realize I don’t dare to believe it’s true so I’ve been taken pregnancy tests these days just to see if the line is getting stronger and it is I don’t know how to stop taking all these tests If something happens, there’s nothing I can do about it anyway But I wanna be prepared if something would happen But I can’t keep doing this to myself And Aleks says that it has to stop and I will stop But I mean, I have a few tests left from this year I’d be so unnecessary to throw them all away Today, I think it is 15 days since I was ovulating I entered week 5 yesterday so today I’m week 4 + 1 and it was such a relief to see this very strong plus on this test that felt amazing I have one digital test left and if I would take it now, it would show well I hope it would show pregnant 2-3 weeks but i’m gonna save that test for next week when It’s been over three weeks since ovulation to see if it shows three + which is the highest possible so I’m waiting until next week before I’ll take the test and that will be the last test I’m taking I promise or not no, I promise I just have to hold on It’s 24 days until our first ultra sound and then we’ll know if there’s a little heart or not Today is October 25th Thursday I’m 8 weeks pregnant and we’re on our way to our very first ultra sound we’re doing it on the IVF clinic actually I’m very nervous but I’m even more excited and I believe and hope with all my heart that we’ll see a a beating heart a fetus with a beating heart that’s what we’re hoping for, right honey? There’s the heart, Kenza I can see it oh my god are you happy? everything looks fine I told you we would make it it’s such a relief I promised myself to never complain about my pregnancy but I really don’t feel well now I’m 10 weeks pregnant now and my nausea started when I was 7 weeks pregnant and it’s just getting worse and I’ve gotten a
prescription for nausea, which helps a little but it’s hard to make it through the day when it feels like you have barf up your throat all the time except for that, I’m constipated my stomach hurts, it feels like I have my intestines are stuffed with poop that wants to come out and I’m still very tired, which I’ve been ever since I got pregnant but being nauseous is the worst thing but I’m gonna keep fighting and of course I’m so happy and grateful that I’m nauseous for a reason like this I’m gonna make it through I just hope the nausea will pass soon but then I’ll get something else, for sure but that’s okay that was all for this time every morning I have to lie like this for a couple of hours after I’ve taken my pills and just wait for it to pass this prodedure takes longer time for each day so I guess the nausea gets worse It’s so frustrating that I can’t give an explanation at work or in the blog for why I’m being so absent I don’t understrand how people that are employed manage to go to work when you’re pregnant and feel as nauseous as I do now I just can’t get up cause then I’ll puke hold on It will pass in a few weeks my midwife said that the nausea tends to pass before week 14 three more weeks then we’re looking at the baby there it is cute huh? very cute looks a lot like me I think so too there’s the tiny little heart that beats and the baby is 32 mm tall We just looked at the baby how does it feel honey it feels great it looks strong flat back head like daddy Everything looked fine, it moved this was an ultra sound that I booked myself because I was worried but everything looked fine it’s time for a new update I entered week 13 yesterday yesterday I’m so relieved that the critical 12 weeks have passed which feels so nice, because it feels like I can start to relax a little bit now We got the results back from the NIPT-test last week that everything is okay with the baby they couldn’t find any chromosome abnormalities and that feels great and today we went to another ultra sound that I booked and we saw an energetic little baby that kicked and floundered it looked like it jumped in my uterus some time all this feels so surreal We’ve made it until now and everything looks fine And I will now dare to believe and enjoy this and dare to think about next summer when we probably will be parents Otherwise I feel much better now The nausea stopped last week (week 12) and I finally got my appetite back so I can eat more now I’ve lost 4 kg since I got pregnant because I haven’t been able to eat so not I’m gonna eat to grow eat nutritional food during this period I’ve just eaten things that won’t make me feel sick so I’ve just eaten things like sandwiches and ice cream. Food that’s not very nutritional So it’s time to eat better now I feel good just some headache every day we’ll keep this little secret for a little bit longer, for about a month longer Until I’m 18 or 19 weeks pregnant We’re gonna tell everyone when we feel ready This weekend we’re gonna tell the rest of the family Aleks’ family actually don’t know about it yet He’s more careful than me but we’re gonna tell them this weekend and I’m very, very excited Now I’m gonna put this down in my little box where I keep garments and ultra sound pictures from the first, second and third time we did it This is so surreal Talk to you soon again week 14 we (or Aleks) is making some lunch at our place today is the day we’re gonna tell his dad, cousins and nieces xzabout our news, out little baby come here we have to show your beautiful my beautiful apron a real daddy I have something to show you aswell because this week, I’ve gotten a bumb on my belly I think it shows a little bit in the morning that I’m swollen around the uterus but the more I eat during the day, the bigger it gets and then I look quite big actually I’m gonna put on a knit now to cover my belly I’m gonna show you my first I don’t know what to call it My first belly? my first week with a bump on my belly week 14 I can’t see anything this is what it looks like I’m pretty swollen here I guess it’s gonna get bigger with time Now we’re gonna wait for them and then surprise them, I’m so excited New week Today I entered week 15 Time flies this week has been good, except for headache when I stopped feeling nauseous after week 12 I started getting migraine and headache instead and that’s tough but except for that I feel great I think the baby’s fine not much has happened actually I look myself in the mirror a couple of times every day to see if the belly’s getting bigger I’m still pretty flat in the morning but as soon as I eat or drink anything even if it’s just water, the belly bump comes out so now I’m gonna show you what the belly looks like in week 15 there it is still pretty small I can still suck it in so it disappears but if I relax I’m quite swollen down here but this is what I look like now I actually thought it would be bigger at this time I’ve never been pregnant before so I only have my friends to compare myself with they got a belly bump earlier than me I wish I’d get that too but it’s coming and I guess I should enjoy being small because it’s about to get pretty unpractical with a big belly but I’m excited, I’m excited fot it to show through all clothes, not only the tight ones and only if I’ve eaten, I want it to be there when I wake up in the morning It’s coming, I guess Let’s do week 15, now it’s only a few weeks left until we drop the news I’m so excited wait I forgot something I told Aleks “I don’t understand all these mood swings everyone’s talking about” this morning I cried cried, cried and cried why? because my friend cancelled our brunch and I was so sad because I had planned to take a picture at that brunch that was like the apocalypse for me it was so tough…we’re not friends anymore just kidding so I guess i’ve felt the mood swings although I think Aleks life is too easy right now he should feel something soon he has it too easy, but I guess it will change soon we’re close to week 16 I’m sick and don’t feel well at all I don’t know why but I’ve been very sad the last couple of days which is weird because I should be the happiest girl in the world right now… although I am, trust me there’s something that makes me… I just can’t take it all in.. that this is happening to me I’m still scared to death that something’s gonna happen that it will be taken away from me it has just been a tough couple of days or the last couple of weeks actually with migraine and all that shit I just wish the time would go faster, so we can tell everyone maybe it will feel more real then and I’m finally gonna be able to tell you guys what I’ve been through this year and I’m finally gonna be able to share the greatest thing that ever happened to me it’s hard to live my life right now as a public person when I can’t share this instead I just feel bad, sick and worried but it’s just a few weeks left of this year and I am so happy to leave this year behind me to start a new year, a new chapter. To start a new adventure so, that was my update week 16 I just finished filming the last video I posted so why not make a little update about this week aswell so what has happened the last week I’ve had migraine… again wtf has happened the last week? I visited my sister and her kids in Malmö and told the kids they’re getting a little cousin they were so cute all weekend we call the baby “bebor” something that Aleks and his friends have done with dogs, children and people so now it’s called bebor so my nieces were like “what does bebor wanna have for breakfast” and “what does bebor wanna do today?” and they pat on my stomach so cute so that was fun my sister already knew, she was the second person I told I called her on facetime on my way up from Falkenberg (where I took the test) to Stockholm she knew before Aleks knew I’m still waiting for the bump to get bigger I showed the belly in week 14 and last week it’s there, for sure. especially in the afternoon but in the morning before I’ve eaten, it’s still pretty small I guess it’s coming the only thing growing is my boobs, but I guess that’s pretty nice it’s only one week left until christmas and we’ve decided to check Bebor’s sex at christmas eve have I told you guys this? it’s hard to know what I’ve said in all these updates we’ve had the sex written in an envelope since the ultra sound from week 11 but we decided to open it on christmas eve so it’s one week left until we know if it’s a boy or girl and two weeks left until it’s out in public i can show you the belly it’s not that big I’ve had breakfast so maybe there’s a little bump the only thing you can see is that I’m a little bit swollen here the baby is … from top to butt it’s 11 cm tall from top to toe it’s 14-15 cm tal but i’ve seen there’s a lot of girls who don’t get a belly bump until week 20 and there’s girls who are small through the whole pregnancy merry christmas we’re finally in week 17 and omg you’re so tall and it’s time to check the sex of the baby I think it’s a boy, i did from the beginning but i don’t know we’re excited so we’re gonna pop a balloon and then there will be either blue or pink confetti very stereotypical and then we’ll see what sex it is what sex do you think it is, miranda? girl really? we’ll know if it’s a girl or not very soon boy what? boy or girl? girl boy boy boy boy boy he said girl boy I think it’s a boy but we’ll see, it might aswell be a girl we’re just gonna eat and then we’ll pop the balloon are you excited mommy? *counting down from ten*


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