Eloping? 5 Things To Consider | Wedding Series


five considerations for the eloping
couple by definition we did not technically elope we chose to give our
parents ten days notice and our work knew that there was a chance we’d be
running away to get married as with any wedding the process of
planning the event will hold its challenges with planning a wedding and a
secret destination we found there were extra challenges and hurdles we had to
work through if you’re thinking of eloping here are a few of the
difficulties we had and how we overcame them in our decision making
number one make the decision openly talk through your pros and cons the first
thing we did once we started seriously considering the idea of eloping was sit
down and write out the reasons why we wanted to do it in our case we had some
tender family situations we thought were taking away from the day these
situations were one of our biggest stressors tear starters and argument
fuelers Anthony and I did not feel fully happy with what our wedding day was
becoming so eloping suited our situation rather well here are some of our pros
and cons even though our cons were a little heavier we chose to go ahead and
follow the peace our hearts were feeling our pros no stress amazing views we
ended up picking Banff Alberta for our destination its intimate it was less
expensive which also meant not starting marriage and debt it’s what we wanted
there was less day of stress and drama and it didn’t actually put her family
situation in the spotlight our cons we were missing out on family pictures I
wasn’t getting a father-daughter dance with was a bit sentimental for me having
to tell parents and see the disappointment not having loved ones
present to celebrate and I was sad I wasn’t dancing the night away with some
of my girlfriends number two together knows you must both agree and feel a
peace about your decision you have to agree on eloping to
gather if one of you is unsure doesn’t feel peace if either decision go back to
the drawing board and figure out the following why don’t you feel at peace is
it fear of disappointing others is it because it’s not a hundred percent what
you envisioned for your wedding day what can you do to remedy those feelings
could you have a small reception when you return so family is still involved
and what are the other options you could have for your wedding day some of the
eloping alternatives we considered were parents only wedding ceremony or an
immediate family only ceremony and dinner when this is only ceremony which
would have involved just a few close people or even having an intimate
backyard wedding remember you don’t have to have a reception so the ceremony is
all you want to share with your loved ones then the ceremony only event is a
good Peck I have a bad habit of pointing the finger when my husband’s decisions
don’t work out I’m working on it when it comes to our wedding day pointing the
finger is a huge no-no to eliminate this issue we sat and committed to not
playing the blame game if and when things went wrong or tension built
against us our wedding day is about committing and supporting one another
wedding planning is a good place to practice having each other’s backs
number three telling the parents or decision this was a different experience
for both of us so here is his and her as the side him my brother got married a
few months ago seeing all the planning money spent all the people involved an
expectations place on the event made me realize I didn’t want it as a couple we
are not materialistic and we do not conform to expectations so I knew from
early on that I wanted to elope I had been telling my parents we would
probably do it though they didn’t believe me right away
I think mentioning it in conversation prior to officially telling them allowed
them time to process and accept it when I told them we were in fact eloping and
the flights were purchased they were accepting us supporting even if they
were sad they wouldn’t get to show us off and celebrate at a big
event her side I was very anxious about telling my parents about our decision my
parents and I had a difference of opinion regarding my engagement and
though my father wanted my happiness regardless of what my wedding day looked
like I was still consumed with a mix of fear anxiety and sadness at the thought
of knowing that me getting married was bringing them a bit of disappointment
part of the issue was that I am a total people pleaser when it comes to my
parents they mean the world to me and causing them any level of sadness or
disappointment literally breaks my heart I prayed and prayed for days before
telling them we had purchased our airline tickets and were officially
eloping I wrote them a letter to read on their own time and though I cried well I
sobbed really through the whole conversation I had with them I never
felt more excited and that peace in my spirit about moving forward with such a
big decision I was absolutely liberated God works so much in my heart through
such a small event number 4 keeping an exciting secret pick a small group of
individuals you can confide in with your secret this is where a local being can
become less of eloping we both openly talked about planning a
getaway wedding at work so it was not a surprise to them when we were suddenly
absent for a week we also chose to inform both sets of parents of our
decision ten days before we flew out and I had told my siblings and select
friends that played an important role in making my big day happen when finding
and friends allowed when to talk through the last-minute worries and jitters as
well as some of the more personal emotional hurdles I was working through
I can’t tell you how comforting their prayer and helping hands work through
the planning process I do believe that parents deserve to know the biggest news
in their child’s life so if there’s anyone you should confide in it should
be done mind you that’s assuming you have a healthy relationship with them
and that you can handle their convincing arguments against your adventure to
elope it helps you all float on to under standing ears through this whole process
number five missing out blues you don’t have to miss out on everything just
because you’re eloping I felt the Blues I was sad of not having a
father-daughter dance of not dancing the night away with my dear friends of not
having a family bridal shower since my best friends knew about my nuptials they
sweetly put together a little shower in a Bachelorette while my co-workers also
took me out on the last blushing night other solutions for the blues if you’re
really doing a full-on surprise elopement maybe a bridal shower would be
too exposing so think about having a girls night to celebrate when you come
back friends always want all the details and this would be a great opportunity
for your close friends to shower you with love and excitement as I hear about
your eloping adventure we chose to host a small lunch in honor of our nuptials
for my husband’s side of the family weddings are a big deal and Italian
culture so to settle some not-so-happy feelings from some key family members we
hosted a small celebratory event for them to feel part of it
this allowed everyone to have a great time together eat their hearts out and
still get a chance to wish us their congratulations sometimes giving in to
tradition isn’t so bad you can also involve select individuals and your
wedding dress shopping I know that’s a big step for the bride I went alone a
few times and believe me when I say it is so hard to make these decisions alone
I was so glad to have been able to get the opinion of a select group of
individuals you don’t have to tell them when the wedding is if you really want
to be secret you can always tell them you just want to know for the future or
you want to try on dresses to have an idea of what looks good on you you
definitely don’t have to buy it in front of them either you can call a store and
put it on hold for pick up the next day you can keep it a secret without feeling
like you’re completely missing out on some clothes time with your girls in the
end your decision should be based on whether you are feeling spirit
sometimes it works out for the better to put a slide our picture of the perfect
wedding day and plan with Holy Spirit’s guidance I know I had envisioned a
vineyard wedding with my family but quite honestly eloping in the mountains
of Banff was just as beautiful do you have more solutions to share
leave them in a comment below

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