Day 09- When Your Wedding Budget is different to your partners!

(upbeat music) – Day 9 of the 30 days of
Bridechilla wedding planning. And this is a fun one but also a hard one, and also a fun one. Today, the topic is, “You are comfortable spending
$30,000 on your wedding, “and your partner wants to spend 70.” Hmm. Quite challenging when
it comes to budgeting and making your ideas of how much money you should be spending, align. This is a really common conversation that happens in the Bridechilla Community, our private Facebook group, and by the way I don’t
think I introduced myself. I’m Aleisha, the founder of Bridechilla and host of The Bridechilla Podcast. Always professional. And I decided to do
these videos to give you a really short mini course, an
overview of the 300+ episodes of The Bridechilla Podcast that I have produced over
the past three years. And the topic of money
and budgeting is something that I think a lot of people avoid because it takes the fun away from things, but also it can be really
hard down the track when you don’t know how much
money you have to spend, or how much money you
are comfortable spending, or have access to spending,
and then also if your partner and you are not on the
same level of thinking, if you aren’t communicating,
or you don’t find, for example, 30 grand, I’m
just pulling this number out of my ass by the way. It’s not something you should be spending if you don’t have it. This is just a made up number. If you think you should be spending 30, and your partner’s like, “Yeah, I’d really, I was
thinking more like two.” It’s quite a different situation. So, I did speak about
earlier on in the series, I think it was episode two, that in the Bridechilla Survival Guide, and Bridechilla Field Guide. Actually, I stand corrected, I have a whole page of questions you should ask your partner, and things you should talk about before you start booking anything. Do not plan or book a thing until you have a
discussion and an agreement about what you think is right to spend. Now, we’re in the period of our lives, I’m going to speak very
generally about people in their 20s and 30s, where there are other
expenses coming our way. There’s possibly mortgages,
and travel, and buying cars, and moving houses and homes,
and paying off college tuition. These are really big expenses and then when you throw
a wedding into the mix, it can be really stressful because you want to create a great day, you want to have an awesome party. You might have expectations about what you want it to look like or what you want it to feel like, and sometimes those expectations
don’t match reality. And also don’t match
what your partner thinks is in plan for you guys. So, without having a conversation
and being really honest, and annoyingly upfront about it, it really makes things messy. And I can guarantee that if you
sit down, as well as saying, “What are your expectations of the day? What’s important to you? Band or DJ?” Or maybe you want to spend
all your money going to Italy and getting married there
with two people, great. But before you really
lock in those details, you’re going to have to
come to some agreement as to what as a couple
you can afford to spend. What if you are having wedding donors or family members contributing, that’s what I call them, wedding donors. You’ll learn more soon. Coming in and contributing funds that you know where you’re
going to allocate those funds, and how much you’ve got to spend. I know a lot of people
find talking about weddings and money, especially this
sort of celebration, people go, “Talking about money’s gross. It’s dirty. “I don’t want to do it.” You’re like, “Actually,
no. Shut up. That’s wrong.” Talking about money in this situation with your partner, especially,
is really important. And if you don’t do it, it can cause a lot of
trouble down the track. I just think it’s worth sitting down, with a big glass of wine,
or a stiff coffee… I don’t know what that is. And just saying, “Look,
I was thinking, 20,000. “What do you think?” And if they say, “Well,
I was thinking 40.” Then maybe you could go, “Alright, let’s look at how
we’re going to afford this.” Or, “What do we have to give up to do it?” Or, “How do we invest our money?” Or, “How long will it take
us to save this money?” Or, “Are we willing to go into debt?” Don’t do it. Don’t do it. “To pay for this thing.” So, just get the hard
conversations done first and early and I promise you, it is
the path to Bridechilladom. It is the path to freedom
of choice and ease and enjoying this process, and not feeling the burden of having these big decisions hanging over your head. That’s what I’m saying. So there it is. I can tick
that one off the list. Gee, I’m enjoying doing these videos. I hope you’re enjoying it. And if you have a friend or a partner that you think will benefit
from watching these flicks, these films, I think you should share what I’m doing. I’m doing a video a day for 30 days and hopefully by the end of the 30 days, we’ll cover a lot of stuff
that’s important to you to get done, and then you can
just get on with your life and be a Bridechilla. I’d love for you to check out the podcast. All you need to do is search
on iTunes, Spotify, Android, “Bridechilla”, and you will find me. And I’ve produced over
300 episodes of the show, so strap yourself in. You will get to know a lot about me and hear this voice a lot. But I think it’s worth it. Thank you so much for watching. Looking forward to chatting
with you again tomorrow and if you have any thoughts, comments, or maybe you’ve got a different suggestion about how to talk about
money with your partner, I would love to learn more. Leave thoughts in the
comments section below and if you want to check
out the Bridechilla guides, simply go to where you can grab your
Bridechilla starter pack. Happy days. (upbeat music)

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